Lunzedlin Stragnigort is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, irritating narwhal.

Lunzedlin Stragnigort created a down quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lunzedlin Stragnigort, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Lunzedlin Stragnigort, he will curse you with boils.

Lunzedlin Stragnigort's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Lunzedlin Stragnigort's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Erect seven carbon sculptures of Lunzedlin Stragnigort on top of important buildings.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never paint your face white.

5. Never think about stars.