Monxinbud is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, self-confident monkey.

Monxinbud created a top quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Monxinbud, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Monxinbud, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Monxinbud's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Monxinbud's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snails.

2. Always obey Monxinbud's priests.

3. Never sit in holy places.

4. Do not shave your hands.

5. Pray towards the south.