Gignegxuck is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, sage manatee.

Gignegxuck created everything that exists three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gignegxuck, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gignegxuck, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Gignegxuck's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Gignegxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Put Gignegxuck first in all things.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not speak about rice.

4. Run away from turquoise shrews, for they are unholy.

5. Gignegxuck loves ducks, so they must be honoured.