Pasjatruttpindad is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, proud jaguar.

Pasjatruttpindad created water two billion years ago.

If you believe in Pasjatruttpindad, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Pasjatruttpindad, it will turn you into a tree.

Pasjatruttpindad's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Pasjatruttpindad's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear boots.

2. Learn three new languages a year.

3. Never jump in the presence of tapirs.

4. Do not eat parsnips.

5. Do not chop down trees.