Gupsoggof is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, ruthless snail.

Gupsoggof created the Black Eye Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gupsoggof, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Gupsoggof, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Gupsoggof's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Gupsoggof's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not speak about peas.

3. Gupsoggof must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Do not trade with those who eat bread.

5. Never talk about galaxies.