Bifceplen is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, charitable donkey.

Bifceplen created the Large Magellanic Cloud seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bifceplen, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bifceplen, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Bifceplen's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Bifceplen's Holy Commandments

1. Never run near eagles.

2. Always make sure there are no whales in a building before entering it.

3. Never go into pink rooms.

4. Do not speak about nuts.

5. Never talk about fire.