Yarlfethom is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, flying aardvark.

Yarlfethom created the Large Magellanic Cloud seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarlfethom, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Yarlfethom, he will cry a lot.

Yarlfethom's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Yarlfethom's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fluid mechanics near sharks while wearing mauve corsets and balancing eight lead spheres on your legs.

2. Always help sick porpoises.

3. Never talk about electromagnetism.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.