Jarnwodrip is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, passionate crocodile.

Jarnwodrip created the planet Saturn nine million years ago.

If you believe in Jarnwodrip, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Jarnwodrip, he will turn you into a duck.

Jarnwodrip's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Jarnwodrip's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at galaxies.

2. Never feed apples to cats while wearing trousers.

3. Hide if nine horses approach from the south.

4. Always help ducks.

5. Do not drink alcohol.