Pakveensas is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, moody salamander.

Pakveensas created humankind three billion years ago.

If you believe in Pakveensas, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Pakveensas, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Pakveensas' most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Pakveensas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in green rooms.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never feed lentils to sharks while wearing black shoes.

5. Always look after injured rats.