Cen Hottenqueeg Flansatvig is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, overgenerous elephant.

Cen Hottenqueeg Flansatvig created light three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cen Hottenqueeg Flansatvig, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Cen Hottenqueeg Flansatvig, he will turn you into a tree.

Cen Hottenqueeg Flansatvig's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Cen Hottenqueeg Flansatvig's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from gray otters for they are unholy.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not wear purple clothing.

4. Never hurt dolphins.

5. Always stare at clouds.