Yiktomdav is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, temperamental octopus.

Yiktomdav created Europe eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yiktomdav, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Yiktomdav, she will turn you into a goat.

Yiktomdav's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Yiktomdav's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Always help tapirs in need.

3. Never feed spinach to snakes while wearing trousers.

4. Never think about quantum mechanics.

5. Never hop in holy places.