Bessmissad Tonkfadarnpad is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, weak salamander.

Bessmissad Tonkfadarnpad created the Milkyway two years ago.

If you believe in Bessmissad Tonkfadarnpad, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bessmissad Tonkfadarnpad, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Bessmissad Tonkfadarnpad's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Bessmissad Tonkfadarnpad's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

2. Never think about dwarf planets.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never go into white rooms.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.