Paklarpjon is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, irritating snake.

Paklarpjon created light nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Paklarpjon, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Paklarpjon, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Paklarpjon's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Paklarpjon's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if seven seals approach from the west.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never wear blue kilts.

5. Never write about chromosomes.