Lapdanbug is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, proud goblin.

Lapdanbug created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lapdanbug, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Lapdanbug, he will manifest in front of you.

Lapdanbug's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Lapdanbug's Holy Commandments

1. Erect seven silicon sculptures of Lapdanbug on top of important buildings.

2. Otters are not to be trusted.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not drink water in green rooms.