Yakmobtan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, slow cow.

Yakmobtan created Mount Everest nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Yakmobtan, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Yakmobtan, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Yakmobtan's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Yakmobtan's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed figs to mice while wearing purple trousers.

2. Always help seals.

3. Never bounce in holy places.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Do not kill rats.