Loophitingwat is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unfair wolf.

Loophitingwat created a strange quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Loophitingwat, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Loophitingwat, she will send minions to preach to you.

Loophitingwat's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Loophitingwat's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate aardvarks.

2. Do not take Loophitingwat's name in vain.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Do not sing in public.

5. Never look in ponds.