Metcibtab is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, astonishing gorilla.

Metcibtab created carbon three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Metcibtab, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Metcibtab, he will turn you into a rock.

Metcibtab's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Metcibtab's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if four swans approach from the west.

2. Do not keep five turtles in a large pit.

3. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.

4. Never skip in holy places.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.