Nellquimxuc is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, egotistical dugong.

Nellquimxuc created an atom seven million years ago.

If you believe in Nellquimxuc, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Nellquimxuc, he will remove you from existence.

Nellquimxuc's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Nellquimxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never wear trousers.

5. Never write about asteroids.