Bamflatgess is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, happy fairy.

Bamflatgess created the Black Eye Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bamflatgess, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Bamflatgess, she will turn you into a hamster.

Bamflatgess' most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Bamflatgess' Holy Commandments

1. Never feed peanuts to seals while wearing shorts.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not keep five cats in a large pit.

4. Never feed gooseberries to porpoises while wearing brown trousers.

5. Never skip in holy places.