Flowjadgut is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, kind swallow.

Flowjadgut created parasitic wasps nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flowjadgut, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Flowjadgut, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Flowjadgut's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Flowjadgut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

2. Learn eight new languages a year.

3. Never think about dark matter.

4. Do not wear blue clothing.

5. Never write about dark energy.