Hogfubbot is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, selfish jaguar.

Hogfubbot created matter seven million years ago.

If you believe in Hogfubbot, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Hogfubbot, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Hogfubbot's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Hogfubbot's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never leap near ants.

3. Never feed gooseberries to voles while wearing white ear rings.

4. Always help tapirs.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.