Nad is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, compassionate snail.

Nad created an electron eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Nad, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nad, it will jump up and down on your head.

Nad's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Nad's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in holy places.

2. Do not hop in public.

3. Never talk about optics near bats while wearing yellow tights.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Do not eat tomatoes.