Labfitcad is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, moody wren.

Labfitcad created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Labfitcad, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Labfitcad, he will turn you into a rock.

Labfitcad's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Labfitcad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never talk about comets.

3. Never talk about gravity.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not covet oxen.