Sakbigsom is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, generous coyote.

Sakbigsom created vertebrates six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sakbigsom, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Sakbigsom, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Sakbigsom's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Sakbigsom's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from violet ants, for they are unholy.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never chant near horses.

4. Never think about cell theory.

5. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.