Zakfobcut is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, contented yak.

Zakfobcut created viruses eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zakfobcut, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Zakfobcut, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Zakfobcut's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Zakfobcut's Holy Commandments

1. Whales are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never go into pink rooms.

3. Do not trade with those who eat beans.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

5. Retreat if five capybaras approach from the south.