Lidmettaf is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, boastful otter.

Lidmettaf created energy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lidmettaf, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Lidmettaf, he will boil you in a big pot.

Lidmettaf's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Lidmettaf's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Lidmettaf.

2. Run away from yellow snails, for they are unholy.

3. Erect a large iron sculpture of Lidmettaf on top of all buildings.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not wear tin on your body.