Sadlarphiv is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, fussy spider.

Sadlarphiv created the Whirlpool Galaxy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Sadlarphiv, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Sadlarphiv, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Sadlarphiv's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Sadlarphiv's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not dye your hair black.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.