Nurtsidpom is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, emotional grasshopper.

Nurtsidpom created the Sunflower Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtsidpom, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Nurtsidpom, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Nurtsidpom's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Nurtsidpom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Nurtsidpom's name in vain.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tortoises.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never think about fluid mechanics near voles while wearing blue boots and balancing seven silver spheres on your chest.

5. Do not keep five sharks in a large pit.