Fudlopwab is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, astonishing raccoon.

Fudlopwab created dark matter six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fudlopwab, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Fudlopwab, she will destroy your home planet.

Fudlopwab's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Fudlopwab's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never think about ribonucleic acid.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never talk about optics near porpoises while wearing pink tights and balancing nine iron spheres on your neck.