Flapdontafvan is a god.

It takes the form of a small, calm gnu.

Flapdontafvan created time and space nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flapdontafvan, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Flapdontafvan, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Flapdontafvan's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Flapdontafvan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Always treat pigs with great respect.

3. Always help birds.

4. Do not speak about peas.

5. Feed all hungry capybaras.