Ditflabflab is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, thoughtless goat.

Ditflabflab created a down quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Ditflabflab, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Ditflabflab, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Ditflabflab's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Ditflabflab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep five tapirs in a large pit.

2. Erect a giant fawn sculpture of Ditflabflab in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Worship no other gods but Ditflabflab.

5. Never talk about thermodynamics near goats while wearing brown skirts.