Fotjopquaf is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, self-confident mink.

Fotjopquaf created the Virgo Supercluster four years ago.

If you believe in Fotjopquaf, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Fotjopquaf, she will destroy your favourite star.

Fotjopquaf's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Fotjopquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Always make sure there are no geese in a building before entering it.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

4. Never paint your legs blue.

5. Do not keep six snakes in a large pit.