Kopflapfut is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, staggering squirrel.

Kopflapfut created the planet Venus four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kopflapfut, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Kopflapfut, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Kopflapfut's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Kopflapfut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never hurt sheep.

3. Never talk about doves.

4. Never bounce in the presence of geese.

5. Never feed lots of wheat to grasshopers while wearing white shorts.