Lagyimcedhatrenbodmegxuc is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, impressive human.

Lagyimcedhatrenbodmegxuc created the Tadpole Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lagyimcedhatrenbodmegxuc, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Lagyimcedhatrenbodmegxuc, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Lagyimcedhatrenbodmegxuc's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Lagyimcedhatrenbodmegxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum field theory near snails while wearing pink stockings and balancing five platinum spheres on your feet.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not drink water in red rooms.