Aflanhog is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, merciless eagle.

Aflanhog created the planet Mars five million years ago.

If you believe in Aflanhog, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Aflanhog, she will destroy your home planet.

Aflanhog's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Aflanhog's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Put Aflanhog first in all things.

3. Worship no other gods but Aflanhog.

4. Never think about quantum gravity near frogs while wearing mauve kilts and balancing seven iron spheres on your hands.

5. Aflanhog must be the most important thing in your life.