Pitvonhin is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, calm goblin.

Pitvonhin created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Pitvonhin, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Pitvonhin, he will not care at all.

Pitvonhin's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Pitvonhin's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Pitvonhin.

2. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate pigs.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never talk about doves.