Hubjan Cetcudjab Cubdibwit is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, selfish bee.

Hubjan Cetcudjab Cubdibwit created matter two million years ago.

If you believe in Hubjan Cetcudjab Cubdibwit, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Hubjan Cetcudjab Cubdibwit, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Hubjan Cetcudjab Cubdibwit's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Hubjan Cetcudjab Cubdibwit's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about moons.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate tapirs.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Never hurt swans.