Tappigfid is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, smart swan.

Tappigfid created a Higgs boson three million years ago.

If you believe in Tappigfid, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Tappigfid, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Tappigfid's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Tappigfid's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Put Tappigfid first in all things.

3. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in turquoise.

4. Never think about comets.

5. Never think about electromagnetism.