Lakbitmon Stragbemrot is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, unsympathetic narwhal.

Lakbitmon Stragbemrot created a charm quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lakbitmon Stragbemrot, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Lakbitmon Stragbemrot, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Lakbitmon Stragbemrot's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Lakbitmon Stragbemrot's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the north.

2. Never think about spacetime.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never wear dresses.

5. Do not dye your hair indigo.