Wikyimvid is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, idiotic newt.

Wikyimvid created the planet Venus three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wikyimvid, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Wikyimvid, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Wikyimvid's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Wikyimvid's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a room before entering it.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never talk about cell theory.