Gumfotcabgudsaw is a god.

It takes the form of a small, unjust dryad.

Gumfotcabgudsaw created a Higgs boson two years ago.

If you believe in Gumfotcabgudsaw, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gumfotcabgudsaw, it will turn you into a snail.

Gumfotcabgudsaw's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Gumfotcabgudsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of bananas to tapirs while wearing turquoise trousers.

2. Never talk about quantum field theory.

3. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

4. Never think about solid mechanics.

5. Never eat bark.