Tanhub is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, moody snail.

Tanhub created the cosmos eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tanhub, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tanhub, it will manifest in front of you.

Tanhub's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Tanhub's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

3. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Tanhub on top of all buildings.

4. Hide from cyan porpoises for they are unholy.

5. Never look in ponds.