Gumbopcun is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, amazing elephant.

Gumbopcun created an up quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gumbopcun, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gumbopcun, he will be very sad.

Gumbopcun's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Gumbopcun's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured rats.

2. Never think ill of sick goats.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gumbopcun.

4. Never write about archaea.

5. Do not make images of living things.