Kemflap Kembissighubartquafranzen is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, selfish mouse.

Kemflap Kembissighubartquafranzen created humanity three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kemflap Kembissighubartquafranzen, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Kemflap Kembissighubartquafranzen, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Kemflap Kembissighubartquafranzen's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Kemflap Kembissighubartquafranzen's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. You must pray to Kemflap Kembissighubartquafranzen eight times a day.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never think ill of sick rats.

5. Do not trade with those who eat limes.