Gebvonkwad is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, egotistical wolf.

Gebvonkwad created everything that exists nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gebvonkwad, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Gebvonkwad, she will try to impress you with trees.

Gebvonkwad's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Gebvonkwad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never think about gravity.

5. Never sit in holy places.