Kabbindag is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, charitable otter.

Kabbindag created snails six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kabbindag, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Kabbindag, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Kabbindag's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Kabbindag's Holy Commandments

1. Kabbindag loves ants, so they must be respected.

2. Never feed lots of coconuts to rats while wearing white skirts.

3. Kabbindag loves doves, so they must be honoured.

4. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a room before entering it.

5. Kabbindag must be the most important thing in your life.