Flanjamlun is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, egotistical wasp.

Flanjamlun created the Large Magellanic Cloud four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flanjamlun, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Flanjamlun, he will turn you into a mouse.

Flanjamlun's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Flanjamlun's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never think about electromagnetism near great tits while wearing turquoise rings and balancing seven gold spheres on your chest.

3. Do not shave your neck.

4. Never feed grapes to voles while wearing indigo skirts.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.