Gutlopcan is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, confident weasel.

Gutlopcan created viruses five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gutlopcan, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Gutlopcan, it will ignore you.

Gutlopcan's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Gutlopcan's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at black holes.

2. Run away from purple voles, for they are unholy.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

4. Never go into indigo rooms.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.