Funhadtaf is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, witless dragon.

Funhadtaf created snails three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Funhadtaf, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Funhadtaf, he will ignore you.

Funhadtaf's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Funhadtaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit near geese.

2. Always help aardvarks.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not speak about coconuts.

5. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.