Flamgeppit is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, fast pig.

Flamgeppit created Mount Everest two million years ago.

If you believe in Flamgeppit, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Flamgeppit, he will turn you into a frog.

Flamgeppit's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Flamgeppit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sprint in public.

2. Run away from pink monkeys, for they are unholy.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Flamgeppit.

4. Do not eat coconuts.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate snails.